No Show Arthur, known as Archie
Life and soul of every party
Reluctant though he was to go
Once he got there you would know
Guitar, banjo, ukulele
Man he made the party swing
Babycham and brown ale baby
Then you should have heard him sing
"He's as good as Frank Sinatra"
"Better!" Some are heard to say
Archie does them all and then some
Maybe Sammy, Mel Torme
"Next week same again round our house!
Get the piano tuned OK!"
No Show rashly makes a promise
Will he be there, hard to say

No Show Archie, Come on Archie, Go Go Archie!
No excuses, not today!
No Show Archie, Come On Archie, Go Go Archie!
Will he be there? Who’s to say

Archie hammers out the classics
In the parlor there's a squeeze
Shouts for ‘Hearts In San Francisco’
Even Music Maestro Please!
Going home time, now he's shouting
"Lets do this again next week!"
She knows better. "Don't expect him,
That’s a promise he won't keep"

No Show Archie, Come On Archie, Go Go Archie!
Will he be there? Hard to say
Come on Archie! Go Go Archie! Come On Archie!
Will he be there? Hard to say

Come On Archie! Come On Archie! Go Go Archie
"Archie’s granddad ’s had his leg off
That’s the second one today"
Can he be there? It’s a promise!
He won’t make it. Not today!
Come on Archie! No Show Archie! Showbiz Archie!
Will he be there? Who’s to say
Come on Archie! Come on Archie! Come on Archie!

"Good show, Archie!"

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